Paths to Parenthood |
by Calista Sprague According to the Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention, as many as 7.3 million women experience
difficulty conceiving or carrying a child to
term in a given year. Many of these women seek infertility
treatments, but only a fraction of their stories end with the
arrival of a bundle of joy.
Any couple, lucky enough to realize a happy ending, must first face numerous weighty decisions. Whether they choose to wade through the many options modern medical science affords infertile couples, or they choose an alternate path, exploring natural therapies and closely examining diet, the need for couples to be well-informed is paramount.
Helena Coates was 29 when her biological clock started to tick. After a year of unsuccessful trying, she decided it was time to see a doctor. “I think all of us go into it thinking, ‘There’s nothing wrong with us, so let’s just go ahead and get these tests over with,’” Coates said.
Working full time and living an active lifestyle here in Columbus, Helena and husband Stephen are a fit, healthy couple. In fact, Helena teaches classes at a local gym. And as expected, the tests showed no physical reason for the couple’s infertility. On Dr. Susan Epley’s recommendation, Helena decided to begin infertility treatments. “I didn’t want to be in my late 30s before I got pregnant,” she said.
Coates’ treatments followed the standard course recommended by doctors across the country, beginning with the fertility drug, Femara, to boost the number of eggs available for fertilization each month. “That’s when my life started to change,” remembered Coates. Normally an energetic businesswoman who loved to work out, she disliked the drug’s affects. Abdominal discomfort and lack of energy made exercising and teaching difficult. “I just wasn’t myself,” she recalled.
Several more unsuccessful and uncomfortable months led the Coateses to ask, “Now what?” Intrauterine insemination (IUI) was the doctor’s answer. “Now we’re getting more expensive,” Coates explained. “Now I’m not only taking the drugs, now I’m getting two or three ultrasounds a month, and then going back in for the IUI.”
Two unsuccessful IUIs signaled the time for a new approach. Dr. Epley referred the couple to a fertility specialist. After talking to several other women, Coates decided to see Dr. Prakash Thiruppathi, who recommended they try another round of IUI. This time the doctor prescribed stronger medicines. “Not only are you getting stuck with shots two and three times a day,” Coates said, “but these are much more aggressive shots and they will flat knock you down.”
Two more IUI attempts failed. Rather than continue with IUIs, the couple chose the more aggressive option, in vetro fertilization. Again, stronger medication was prescribed.“Now these were the Mack Daddies of all fertility shots and I was taking four or five shots a day in the belly. Again, working out became almost impossible. They’re telling you, ‘Don’t stress yourself out, relax,’ like that’s possible,” Coates said incredulously.
The Coateses began with seven viable fertilized eggs. “Stephen and I named them the seven dwarves,” Coates laughed, “and we picked the two that looked the best, Happy and Doc.” Dr. Thiruppathi implanted the two eggs, but after 10 long days of waiting and a weekend spent feeling sure that she was beginning her cycle, Coates broke down. “I’m thinking, there goes $20,000 down the drain. And I am balling and crying. I’m going through the ‘I can’t believe this is happening to me,’ and ‘Why can’t I get pregnant?’ It was bad,” she remembered.
Even after she got the happy news that she was pregnant, Coates was slow to believe it. Each time she went in for her weekly ultrasound, part of her expected to hear the worst. Now seven months along with baby Culhane, Coates is excited. “I know that it’s made me more thankful to actually be pregnant,” she beamed.
Words in a journal she keeps to one day show her son say it best: “I love that you will be joining our family soon as our precious little son. I love that I will be able to teach you so many things that I have wanted to share with a little one. I love that I have been given a chance to bear children—despite the hardships we have faced in getting you into my belly. I love you.”
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Courtney Loving, mother of Warren and
Elizabeth, chose natural alternatives to
medicine to combat her infertility. |
For many other couples, getting pregnant is not the problem. “I could get pregnant on my own. I was having trouble maintaining a pregnancy,” revealed another local mom, Courtney Loving. Having successfully given birth to son Warren four years earlier, Courtney and husband Ward were ready for another addition to the family.
When faced with difficulty carrying a second child to term, the Lovings naturally sought the opinion of doctors. “But they started giving me advice that intuitively I didn’t agree with,” Loving complained. Diagnosed with PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Loving’s doctor said the only way for her to get pregnant and stay pregnant required the drug Clomid.
Already health-conscious and aware of natural alternatives to medicine, Loving decided against the traditional medical route. “There are no long-term studies on the children whose mothers took Clomid while they were pregnant,” she explained. “For me, that just wasn’t an option. I wasn’t willing to subject myself or my unborn child to that when I just firmly believed I could take care of it by myself.”
“You start to wonder, ‘Why did I have a miscarriage?’” Loving knew she had other symptoms that pointed to health issues—stomach problems, difficulty losing weight and irregular periods.
She didn’t abandon medical science altogether. Loving had blood work and other tests done to check for hormone or insulin imbalances. Results indicated a problem with insulin, so she went to work. “I’d had a child before. I knew that my body could do that, so I went to the library and read books on all types of issues.” She read about the thyroid and its effect on pregnancy, but Loving read most extensively about the role nutrition might have played in her infertility and about how to reverse its effects.
Armed with information, Loving took action. Already going for acupuncture in Columbus once a week, she conferred over the phone and twice traveled to Austin to see a protégé of a highly respected acupuncturist. In addition to acupuncture, the Texas doctor formulated some herbal supplements for Loving to take.
But nutrition continued to be Loving’s primary focus. “I just think you’ve got to clean your own house before you can have a chance at a good pregnancy and healthy baby.” After learning what foods triggered negative responses in her body, Loving honed her diet to include only healthy foods that her body tolerated well. Despite occasional slips, her health issues abated, and she felt better.
Once she realized she was pregnant, Loving panicked. She’d been hearing from doctors for so long that she couldn’t maintain a pregnancy without medication, she suddenly questioned her decisions. She went to Dr. Thiruppathi. “Have I made a mistake? Should I be taking this medication?” But the doctor allayed Loving’s fears, saying that he would not have recommended the drug even before she got pregnant.
The Lovings and Dr. Thiruppathi kept a close eye on the baby through frequent ultrasounds. “I used both medical tests and alternative therapies for comfort, for peace of mind. I just think people have to take their health into their own hands, follow their intuition and feel confident. Even if it’s a medical decision, you really need to be well-read and understand what you’re getting into because it’s going to affect you, and it affects the baby,” Loving said.
“Nutrition helps before you’re pregnant, while you’re pregnant and after you’re pregnant. The offices I’ve seen in town don’t have adequate nutritional counseling. Like gestational diabetes—people don’t get where sugars come from, how your body processes sugar.” But Loving admits that her path is not for everyone. “Not everybody wants to know all that, and that’s fine. But if you do, it’s not hard to learn about it.”
Loving strongly believes that with diet and exercise, many threats to fertility can be controlled. “There are ways to deal with problems without medication or with limited medication if you are willing.” Then she added, “It’s a hard road. Going the route of different modalities takes more discipline.”
The Lovings’ road may have been hard, but the reward at the end was great. In May, Courtney and Ward welcomed a healthy girl named Elizabeth into their family. Like the Coateses, they feel especially grateful for their healthy, happy baby.
The Coateses and the Lovings represent the lucky ones. “Only one-third of the women, who spend these ‘cagillion’ of dollars trying, actually get pregnant,” said Coates. “It’s just rolling the dice. You’re just thinking, ‘Will it be me this time?’” Coates explained. “The fact that people get pregnant, the fact that people stay pregnant, the fact that people have successful childbirth—it’s all just a miracle.”
Suggested reading:
Taking Charge
of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler
The Infertility Cure by Dr. Randine Lewis
Eat Right 4 Your Baby by Dr. Peter D’Adamo
