Why make me-time?
Mothers are infamous for giving everything they have physically, mentally and emotionally to their families, leaving little or
nothing for themselves. What these wellmeaning
moms may not realize is that they are short-changing their families in the long run. Moms who neglect themselves become depleted. Their minds and bodies do not work at optimum levels, and they suffer emotionally as well.

Give your family and yourself a gift for Mother’s Day—a healthier, happier you! Take at least 30-60 minutes (more if you can manage it) to spend by yourself each day. By paying attention to yourself, you will feed your spirit and recharge your batteries. You will have more to offer your family and you will send the message to your children that it is important to take care of yourself.

I know exactly what you’re thinking. “Are you crazy? I don’t have time to turn around as it is. How in the world am I supposed to work even five minutes, much less an hour, into my jam-packed schedule?” If you make it a priority, it is possible. Not easy, but possible, and well worth the effort! Most likely, you will always have a to-do list crammed with chores that need to be done. But if you don’t take time for yourself, you’ll be hard-pressed to find the energy to carry out those tasks or to do them well.

How to get me-time
Dad is a built-in resource. Dads need opportunities to bond with their children but may not have a clear idea how to start. Declare an hour each night Daddy time, and help him come up with some activities he can do with the kids. They could play games or go for a walk, or he could give them a bath and read stories. This is a wonderful opportunity to start a special ritual for your children and their Dad.

Summer is almost here. Take advantage of teens who are out of school and looking for ways to make some extra spending money. Hire a teen to stay with your children for an hour or two a day. The kids will enjoy a new face, and you can have some quality time just being you.

Many day care centers and churches offer mother’s-morning-out programs. Or you could start a group of your own. Find one or two other moms who need some time to themselves and take turns babysitting. With three moms, for every one day of babysitting you would get two to yourself. You could take only a couple hours or even half or full days, depending on your schedules.

If you exhaust all these options and still have no success finding time for yourself, review the division of labor in your household. Are you doing more than your share? Could your children do more to help? Kids like to contribute, especially if they view it as grown-up’s work. A small child can help pick up toys, put dirty laundry in a hamper, take dishes to the sink, etc. Let them!

Are you getting support from hubby? If he’s watching TV while you race around the house, caring for kids and cleaning, he could probably do more to pitch in. Rather than complain, ask. Men generally like to feel needed. Let him know you think he would be particularly good at a specific household duty, and ask if he’d be willing to take over. With more help around the house, you can take some time out for yourself once the children are in bed. Hubby will benefit, too. Less stress usually equates with less irritability.

What to do with me-time
Be sure that when you carve out this time, you use it for YOU, not to run errands. It may feel good just to be out on your own, but you will not reap the same benefits as you would from spending time only for you.

Think about some of the things you enjoyed doing by yourself before you had a husband and children to care for. Did you listen to music, read voraciously, do yoga, take art classes, garden, craft, work out at the gym, soak in a warm tub? Choose something fun and plan ahead so you have the added joy of anticipation.

If your life is too hectic, you may need to simply sit in your favorite chair with a cup of tea and just let your mind wander or journal about who you are and what you like and what you think about life—not about being a mom or wife, but about being a woman and being you.