by Mandy Ochoa

President Reagan famously kept a jar of jelly beans on his desk in the Oval Office, but who’d have thought jelly beans could help two young girls understand Daddy was going to be overseas for a year?

Tracy Brown, mother of twins Rachel and Christina, 11, explained how she helped then-5-year-old twins understand Army Maj. Korey Brown was going to be in Korea for a year in 2001. The threesome moved to Austin, Texas, at the time. They had lived at Fort Benning earlier.

“They each filled a jelly bean jar with 365 jelly beans and ate one every day until the jelly beans were gone,” recalls Tracy. “They got so excited when they got down to 11 jelly beans.”

The Brown family are no strangers to moving, but Tracy, Rachel, Christina and Kory have maintained a positive attitude. The twins are happy to be with their friends and classmates at Dexter Elementary.

The Browns are now stationed at Fort Benning until 2008, but her children have already moved four times in their young lives. Tracy was describing how military families and educators help kids adjust with the constant moves that go along with serving in the armed forces. So frequent are moves that post schools have plans in place to cope with the feelings of dislocation, and the Military Family Research Institute at Purdue University published “Military Families on the Move: A Guide for Helping Kids and Their Families during PCS Moves.” (For us civilians, that’s Permanent Change of Station.)

Of course, moving to a new location is not unique to the military. These days with frequent job changes, one in five American families moves into a new home each year. Sometimes it means leaving the neighborhood; other times, it’s a trek across the nation, or world.

The Browns, however, exemplify how a soldier’s family has to adjust to frequent reassignments. They were stationed at Fort Hood for three years—and were only 50 minutes away from Tracy’s parents, Charlie and Judy Bright. “They actually think Texas is their home,” she said of her girls. “They got very close to my parents. It’s unusual to live that close to extended family for so long.”

They attended first through third grades at that school, and had just started fourth grade when Korey was assigned back to Fort Benning.

“That move was terrible. They didn’t want to move,” said Tracey, adding that their pain was eased somewhat by the fact that, when their father returned from 14 months in Iraq, “all their other friends were moving because the 1st Cav (cavalry) came back.”

When they moved onto post, they were given a choice between Dexter and White elementary schools. Because the girls had such a good pre-school experience at Dexter, that was the obvious choice. Choosing between the schools also gave the girls control over one aspect of their environment.

• Start a journal to write down how you’re feeling. • Learn about the place you’re going, and find out if they have things you like there—soccer, clubs or other activities. • Take pictures of everything and everyone you want to remember. • Visit www.military.com, go to “search installation” and type in the name of your new base. Or search for the official website of your new town. Add the site to your favorites. • Get addresses and phone numbers of your old friends. • Check with the youth director at your base now to find out about youth sponsorship so you can make a friend before you reach your new home. • Once you move, introduce yourself, ask to join a game or activity, take classes or try out for a team, go to the Youth Center and seek other new students who are looking for a friend too. • A group called the Military Child Education Coalition helps children (including civilians) with the transition to a new school, at www.militarychild.org. • Parents can help children know what to expect, say goodbye to their old friends, encourage them to help during the move, keep routines as normal as possible, allow children to share their feelings about the move, help build relationships in the new place and be patient. Sources: MFRI, Purdue University and University of Georgia Cooperative Extension Service

“Within a week, they were happy to be here again,” Tracy said, smiling. Along with all the things parents and school officials can do to ease the pain of constant uprooting, it helps that

with today’s technology, kids can instant message their soldier parents, and visit with them via webcams, as well as phone calls and letters. Computers also make it easier to research the new home, and to keep in touch with old friends.

When it comes to schools, people like Linda Turner, counselor at Dexter, do as much as possible to help children through the transitions. She knows how they feel, having moved 22 times in 23 years as a military wife, although some of those moves were temporary while a house was being renovated.

“When a new student comes to school, we take him or her on a tour and give a welcome bag with lots of information about the school,” said Linda. “If we see they’re having a problem adjusting in the classroom, we let them bring two new friends and have lunch with me one day. We have a special game we play, a welcome game. This alleviates some of the minor transition things, and makes them feel special.”

The morning of our visit, she had met with a parent whose child had entered school two weeks ago, and the mother was concerned about the child’s transition. There are three new children in the girl’s class, so Linda said, “We’re going to form a small group, solidifying those friendships for her, so she has kids to turn to when she’s upset.”

Part of the school’s proactive approach is, “We try to give kids the tools to deal with problems themselves,” the counselor added. Each new student is assigned a buddy to show him the ropes, and most students “welcome new kids with open arms. They know what it feels like to be the new kid,” said Linda.

Linda and Tracy agreed there are positive aspects to all the relocation. “It made our daughters very flexible,” Linda said of her adult daughters, who both have military families now.

“My kids have been to Korea, Japan, Mexico—they’ve been to more states than they haven’t been to,” said Tracy, adding that over Christmas ’06, the family went to New York and stayed in an Army hotel “right on 42nd Street.”

“Most Army families have a positive approach to a new duty station,” said Linda.

Interesting things to consider about the new post are: “What are we going to do there? Will there be snow? Will there be a beach?” Tracy explained her positive approach.

Although military schools’ message is the same for all ages—that newcomers are welcomed and included—the method varies. At an elementary school, what’s expected might have to be spelled out a little more explicitly, the counselor said, but children understand and do the right things.

Part of moving is not only welcoming new students, but saying good-bye to kids whose families are moving away.

“When our kids get ready to leave, they get a memory book of their years at Dexter. There’s a place for teachers and friends to sign,” said Linda, adding, “There’s information about our school, and our Web site address.”

The departing students also get to choose a treasure out of the counselor’s treasure box.

“There’s no drama,” Tracy said of the school’s atmosphere. “My girls want to come to school every day.”