“My baby is three months old. I’m exhausted, and I’m worried that I’m not a good mother.” “I haven’t had an adult conversation in months. I long to discuss something other than Elmo or Dora.” “I need a babysitter, but I don’t know anyone in town.” Sound familiar? Thoughts most mothers have had on more than one occasion. Mothers of babies, toddlers and preschoolers often struggle with isolation, feelings of self-doubt, parenting dilemmas and a general lack of support.

by Calista Sprague

In response to these needs, parenting groups have sprung up by the thousands across the country with an estimated 10 million Americans participating. According to Florida sociologist and researcher Mary Kay Falconer, Ph.D., “Parent support groups address a key child abuse and neglect risk factor—social isolation.” Her recent study on parenting support groups found that members join not only to gain helpful parenting information and ideas, but also to meet other parents.

Carol Ann Kaplan founded the Parenting In Columbus Playgroup to help daughter Morgan gain important social skills.

“A lot of women have children, and all of a sudden their lifestyle has changed. They find themselves in the foreign land of being a parent,” explained Jen Trest, support group member and organizer. “It’s very hard to get out and have a social life with kids.” Trest is part of one of the fastest growing parenting groups in the Valley area. Parenting in Columbus Playgroup (PICP), with members from as far away as Auburn, boasted more than100 members only three months after its inception.

PICP founder Carol Ann Kaplan credits the group’s success to the enthusiasm of the members. “We have a very good core of about 25 women and they really help us to invite people and make them feel comfortable,” she said.

Made up mainly of mothers, PICP holds weekly play-dates at various locations around town. But the group also includes fathers and even couples without children who want to learn more about the area. Mom’s night out, dad’s night out and family fun nights provide opportunities for everyone in the family to make new friends and enjoy the company of others. “Last night, for example, we went to the comedy club at the Loft. We had so much fun!” Kaplan exclaimed. “And the families get together about three times a month.”

The PICP community has been lifechanging for military mom Sarah Snow.“For four and a half years I was in my apartment, just staring at four walls, and I completely lost myself,” Snow said. “But this group has completely changed everything.” With increased deployments from
Fort Benning, the group hopes to reach out to more military wives.

“We’re not just a playgroup for children,” Kaplan said. “We’re also like a newcomers group.” When Kaplan heard that a woman was relocating to Columbus from Germany, she introduced her to the group immediately. “We made the transition into Columbus much easier for her. She was able to become acclimated to the area, feel comfortable, know where to shop and eat, and know where to go with her children.”

PICP organizers work hard to respond to the needs of their members. Since losing baby weight is an important topic for many new moms, PICP started its own weightloss group. “We’re challenging ourselves to lose weight,” Kaplan said. “There’s a food log online so you can write down everything you eat. We have opportunities to walk three times a week, and we have a monthly weigh-in.”

In addition to the group’s numerous activities, PICP members stay connected via the Internet. “We have a 24-hour message board, and we have a chat-room now, so we can talk to each other, get parenting advice, cry, laugh, whatever it takes,” Kaplan said.

Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS), an international Christian organization, also serves area moms. With chapters at both Wynnbrook Baptist Church and St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, MOPS moms participate in a Christian-based program focused on parenting. “We’re a nondenominational ministry and we equip moms to become better women, better mothers
and have better leadership skills,” said Tracy Lewark, Wynnbrook MOPS coordinator.

A nursery is provided for the children while their mothers enjoy breakfast, a guest speaker, small group discussion and crafts. “Fellowship time is a big thing so moms can connect and build relationships,” Lewark pointed out. The group is currently studying the book, What Every Mom Needs, and each meeting focuses on one of the six needs outlined in the book.

In order to join MOPS, you must be a mom and you must have a preschooler. Lewark often fields questions regarding the exclusion of fathers.“MOPS realizes that moms have special needs and are not that willing to share when there are men in the group,” she responds.

Both organizations emphasize leadership and individual development. PICP members can opt to host events beyond the routine meetings. “One of our members told me that she’s so excited to see her name on a calendar,” Kaplan said. “She’s never had anything with her name on it that she’s responsible for, so she felt really good.”

Personal growth due to support group participation was evidenced by Dr. Falconer’s research as well. In addition to the decrease in isolation provided by the community within parenting groups, Falconer found that members experienced an increase in self-management skills, in the quality of relationship with their children, in parenting skills, and in the awareness and use of a support system.

Children benefit from the sense of community created by these support groups as well. “They get to play and be with other children, so it’s good for the mom and it’s good for the children,” Lewark remarked. Trest agreed. “I don’t send either of my kids to preschool, and I’m thinking
about homeschooling, so it’s very important to get them out to socialize,” she said.

If you discuss cartoon characters more often than current events and know more about Bobsville and the Sunflower Valley than the Chattahoochee Valley, camaraderie and help are just a click away. Contact MOPS at www.mops.org or PICP at www.parentingincolumbus.com.