By Sara Ketcham
Brooke was ecstatic to find out she was pregnant for the second time. She and her husband Mike talked about having more children after Madilyn, their little princess. They were so thankful for the opportunity God had given them to grow their family. Brooke was anxious to learn the sex of her second child so she could begin preparing the nursery and registering for gifts.
At her 20-week appointment she went in for a routine ultrasound. Not an expert at reading the screens, she waited for the technician to guide Mike and her through what they were seeing. She could tell the technician was concerned about something as she scanned the baby’s tiny body within her own. It was then that Mike and Brooke began speculating as to what might be going on.
Brooke did not learn the sex of her baby that day, but began the process of learning more than she wanted to about the development of unborn children. The development of her child was impaired. The kidneys had not fully developed and were growing cysts, causing almost no amniotic fluid to surround and protect the child.
Mike and Brooke were devastated. A devoted Christian, Brooke knew that God would not give her more than she could handle. It was after a second opinion locally that she was sent to Atlanta for a third and final opinion. She learned that in cases like hers (a 1 in 10,000 chance), only 80% actually make it to a term pregnancy. Without the precious fluid, her child’s lungs would never develop fully, and if he or she was to be born, the chances are that he or she would only live 30 – 45 minutes.
Brooke and Mike made a decision to give their second child the chance to live if only for a short time. After making this decision Brooke sought for answers, assistance from someone, anyone who could shed some light on what she was going through, who was more than a doctor that had “seen cases like hers before.”
After confiding in a friend or two who had lost children soon after being born, she continued her pregnancy as normally as possible. She was introduced to Amy Cason, a neonatal social worker, who helped her family over the next few months prepare for the birth. “She has been a wonderful blessing to our family,” said Brooke. “She has a way of communicating that makes everyone clearly understand how much she cares.”
Brooke began having labor pains at 36 weeks and believed they were false alarms. After a few days without much relief, Brooke, Mike and Madilyn raced to the Medical Center. That same day, Brooke welcomed her second daughter into the world. Knowing that time with their baby girl was precious, Brooke and Mike were only given 45 minutes with her.
A month went by when Brooke received a call from Amy asking how she was handling her loss. Brooke had been strong through the pain, and Amy asked if Brooke would be willing to help others that might be experiencing a similar situation. Brooke expressed her desire to one day have the opportunity to assist others with at least the gift of encouragement if not more.
A month later, Brooke began sharing her story with another woman who went through a similar situation. It was at that time they began working toward creating a support group in Columbus. After a couple of months of talking, sharing and planning, Healing Hearts was created.
“I want to support and encourage other parents that have experienced the devastating loss of an infant,” said Brooke.
Healing Hearts is a faith-based group for families that have lost a child to stillbirth or early infant death. The group meets once a month and welcomes those who are grieving and seek to live and grow through their loss.
Billie Ann, a friend of Brooke’s whose second child was stillborn, was relieved to learn of the creation of Healing Hearts. She remembers going into survival mode after the birth, making sure arrangements were made and that her husband and 2-year-old daughter would be okay. Once her life slowed down again, reality set in and she longed for someone to help her through the pain. Other than a few friends and family members to confide in, Billie Ann relied on her faith to get her through.
“I feel that we can minister to so many parents that have been through the same thing that we have,” said Billie Ann about Healing Hearts. “It is so true, that in our grief, we grow, and you can either become bitter or better. Not only do I feel that I can help others, but I grow toward healing with every meeting that I attend.”
Brooke now has fewer sad days and is gradually getting better. She thinks of her little girl daily and is thankful for the time she got to spend with her. “Through the love of God and support of one another, we can aim to keep joy in our lives as we heal from loss,” said Brooke. She longs for others that feel pain like she did to also share in her joy.
For more information about Healing Hearts, call 706-322-1950. Meetings are held the first Thursday of every month at Vandy’s Place located at 7462 Old Moon Road, just past Calvary Baptist Church. The next meeting will be September 7.
Decrease your child’s risk of SIDS
by following these guidelines
Parents-To-Be
DO NOT smoke or do drugs
Get medical care early and throughout pregnancy
Eat nutritious foods
Wait at least a year before the next pregnancy
Teens: Abstain from sex or use contraceptives
SIDS rates are highest for babies of teens
Parents
• New research indicates sleeping with a pacifier may cut SIDS risk
• Lay infants down to sleep on their backs
• Baby’s mattress should be firm
• Remove excess bedding from crib
• Keep temperature comfortable and avoid over-heating baby
• Avoid tobacco smoke in the home and car with baby
• Breast feed
• Avoid crowds or individuals with respiratory infections
• Ask people to wash their hands before holding baby
• Consider using a home monitoring system for babies
at high risk
Infants at greatest risk
• Infants born weighing less than 3.5 pounds
• Infants whose sibling died of SIDS
• Infants exposed to drugs during pregnancy
• The second or succeeding child born to a teenage mother
• Infants who have had an apparent life-threatening event
(Information from American SIDS Institute, www.sids.org)
