by Charlotte L. Bowman
“Honey, I can’t find James’ shoe!” I yelled frantically to my husband. “We’re late, and I can’t find it anywhere.” Ten minutes later, the missing shoe turned up under the guest bed. How it got there, I didn’t have time to speculate. Instead, I shoved it on my son’s foot and whisked him out the door. We were late for preschool — again.
I’m happy to say that my habit of running perpetually late is no longer a norm in our house. It still happens on occasion but with much less frequency, especially after I joined the website www.FlyLady.net.
There are many excellent “Get Organized” systems available, but this one helped me establish time saving habits and daily routines that keep our home running smoothly.
If your mornings leave you stressed out, relax. You’re not alone. Many families get caught in a time crunch — some more often than others. We procrastinate. We overbook our schedules. And we get cranky. There are a limited number of hours in a day, but there are countless ways to spend them. Our lives are a reflection of those choices.
No family is perfect, but the good news is that with a few adjustments, things can get better. Here are some tips from other area parents that will help.
Be proactive. The best solution for managing your family’s time, according to Eva Cooper at the Pastoral Institute, is to be proactive. “We spend a lot of time managing crises, pressing problems and deadlinedriven projects. A little planning can help prevent a crisis.”
Donna Yeiser, M.D. at West Georgia Pediatrics agrees. “Time management is common sense. It doesn’t matter whether you work outside the home or are a stay-athome parent. If you’re wondering where your time has gone, something is wrong.”
Use a calendar. With all the demands on your family’s time, it can be difficult to keep track of everything. That’s why a calendar is so important. A calendar will keep you and your family informed as to what is going on in your lives.
Hang an oversized calendar in a prominent location. Record family activities, schedules of events, invitations, and appointments on it. Color-code the entries for each family member. If you’re more computer-savvy, you may prefer a tiny palm pilot or a computer-based calendar. It doesn’t matter what kind of calendar you have, so long as you use one and check it daily.
“We call it ‘doing the calendar,’” explains Cindy Sharitt, a licensed clinical social worker. Her three children attend different schools and are involved in many activities. Each week, Sharitt and her husband review their work schedules and their kids’ schedules. The result is a more peaceful home life.
Laura Genung prefers an electronic calendar to keep up with her three kids. “It’s the same one I use for work. Everything goes on it. I’m lucky enough to have an administrative assistant who checks it for me and reminds me of my appointments.”
Mary Hall used to keep a large wall calendar, but had trouble getting her three teenagers to put their appointments on it. Now this pharmaceutical representative keeps up with everything on her computer. “It’s much easier to keep a calendar on my computer since I carry my laptop everywhere I go,” she explains. “My husband has a palm pilot, and we sync up our calendars regularly.”
Limit activities. Do you spend your afternoons and evenings chauffeuring your children around? Is most of your major contact with them on the run or in the car? If so, it may be time to set some limits. Sure, organized sports and activities can play an important role in your children’s development, but kids also need time to imagine, create and explore.
Before you sign your child up for an activity, step back and ask yourself, “Why?” “It’s wonderful that we can provide all these things for our children,” Yeiser says. “But do they really need all these activities? A good rule of thumb is to limit your child’s activities to two per season.”
Make family time a priority. Take the initiative and carve out time in your schedule for your family. Reserve the best hours and the more important days for your family. Plan a family game night. Set aside time for family outings and activities. Talk, listen, relax and enjoy each other’s company.
Also, take time to nurture yourself, your marriage and other relationships. Plan a regular date night with your spouse and plan time alone. “You need interests and outlets outside the marriage,” Sharitt says. “As parents, we have to understand each other’s needs. It’s a balancing act. Women need a girls’ night out. Guys need outlets too.”
Delegate responsibilities. Sometimes moms feel they have to do everything by themselves. Instead, you should share the responsibilities of raising the children and running the home with your spouse. According to family psychologist John Rosemond, children have two parents — not a parent and a parent’s aid.
“You’ve got to have both parents involved,” Maria Kent says. “You can’t do it all by yourself. When you ask, most likely you will find that your spouse is willing and wants to participate.”
“We divide and conquer,” Genung says. “One of us handles one thing and the other, another. Of course, everybody doesn’t get to see every ballgame, but at least one of us is there.”
Having your spouse involved has many benefits, according to Hall. “I travel a lot with my job. Our house runs very smoothly when I’m gone. My husband is just as capable of running things as I am. We trade out responsibilities. Our rule is if you see something that needs to be done and you’re not doing anything — then do it.”
Ask for help. Whether you’re married or single, work or stay at home, sometimes you need a little help. Keep a list of reliable babysitters near the telephone in case of an emergency. Don’t hesitate to call.
“You have to realize your limitations,” Sharitt says. “Single parents, especially, have to know their limits. They often wish they could do more, but you can’t do it all unless you have enough support. Even couples can’t do it all. You need balance.”
Create a network of other parents who have kids the same age as yours. You can help each other out with babysitting, carpooling and errands. “We get a lot of help from family and friends,” Genung says. “Some people won’t ask, but I’m not ashamed to ask for help.”
Plan for tomorrow — tonight! A little preplanning the night before can keep your mornings from feeling like a nightmare. Check your calendar every night to make sure you know exactly what the next day holds. If your children are old enough, have them lay out their clothes, locate their backpacks, round up homework and things like uniforms, instruments and missing library books.
“My daughter has to have her wake up time,” Kent says. “So I try to do as much organization at night, like laying out her clothes and planning an easy breakfast.”
Placing everything in a designated spot the night before is a huge stress reliever for Genung. “We installed hooks in the kid’s playroom where they can hang up their uniforms. That way their clothes are in a designated spot and are easy to locate when needed.”
Save dinner. Research shows how important it is to eat together as a family on a regular basis. The amount of information shared at the dinner table is invaluable. With a little planning, you can put simple, nutritious meals on the table and save money by not eating out as often.
Dust off the crock-pot and plug it in. “I use my crock-pot all the time,” Hall says. “I’ll put the next night’s meal together in the crockpot and refrigerate it overnight. Another trick I use is to prepare several meals in advance. That way there is always something available to eat.”
If the thought of planning menus overwhelms you, check out the website, www.SavingDinner.com. It provides a weekly subscription for six simple entrees, side dishes and, best of all, a prepared grocery list of all the ingredients.
Another website, www.imp-usa.com, sells recipe cards containing simple, tasty recipes for entrees, deserts and snacks. Each card comes with cooking tips and a list of items to include on your shopping list. Best of all, each recipe can be made in under 30-minutes.
Stop procrastinating. Do things now instead of putting them off. Set a timer and see how long it actually takes you to complete a dreaded task. You may be surprised at how quickly you actually accomplish it. Make simple tasks like charging up your cell phone or taking out the trash part of your daily routine.
Be proactive and stop by the gas station once or twice a week, even if your tank isn’t empty. There are few things more frustrating and stressful than being stranded on the side of the road with cranky kids — all because your car is out of gas.
By setting your priorities and organizing the things around you, everything else will fall into place. Your family will be happier and your kids will be better adjusted as a result.
