|
by Kim Green
As parents, we look forward to
our children’s school experience.
We anticipate with excitement the many wonderful experiences
they are sure to encounter. We realize
those first school days are the
beginning of their academic careers and
social connections. While we hope our
children meet with success in the classroom,
we also want them to develop positive,
healthy relationships with other
children.
Through these relationships, children are able to develop emotionally, socially and morally. They practice problem solving and conflict resolution, not to mention the opportunity to empathize with the feelings of others.
Growth and Development
Throughout the school experience,
children will navigate many emotional
stages. The ability to maintain positive,
supportive friendships is a key factor in
managing emotional well being.
Children who are not able to develop
such positive relationships struggle with
lower self-esteem, periods of sadness
and even depression as they mature.
Just as with adults, childhood friends offer each other encouragement and advice in times of distress. They provide each other with emotional support and a listening ear. Friends affirm each other and the qualities that each possesses. Put simply, friends are just there for each other in all situations, good or bad.
While friendships support emotional growth, they also increase social development. When a child enters school and interacts with others, he learns to share, take turns and appropriately play within a group setting.He develops the ability to communicate with others outside of the family setting, creating a foundation for further relationships.
As a child grows and matures, he develops the ability to communicate in ways that are conducive to positive relationships. He experiments with various interaction styles, some of which are effective while others cause disagreements, ultimately resulting in problemsolving and conflict resolution strategies. The importance of these social skills cannot be over emphasized.
Strong moral development also occurs as a result of positive friendships. When asked, children will state that characteristics such as trust, honesty and loyalty are important to good-quality friendships. Children want to develop relationships with others who exhibit a sense of integrity, people who know right from wrong and make the right choices even when others are not watching. As they further their connections to other students, children also learn the importance of kindness and the ability to treat others with respect and human dignity.
Parental Role
As we consider the importance of
childhood friendships, parents need to
understand the significant role they play
in helping their children develop and
maintain healthy friendships.When children
choose their friends, they rely on
what they know and have observed.
During early childhood, these observations
derive from family experiences.
Children who experience supportive,
caring relationships with their parents
and among their siblings are more likely
to develop positive relationships among
their own friends. Parents must remember
that children are looking to them for guidance and are observing them at every opportunity, both at
home and in the community. Children will imitate the behaviors
of their parents and siblings among their own peers and in
their attempts to create friendships.
As parents, we are instrumental in supporting our children’s friendship efforts by providing multiple opportunities for socialization and growth. By involving them in sports, clubs, after-school programs or other positive organizations, we expose our children to a variety of social situations. They meet other children, create new relationships and benefit from the support that accompanies those friendships.We are also allowing them to practice social skills in a safe, structured environment with children who probably have similar interests. Children quickly learn to navigate the challenges of friendship when they are surrounded by peers and caring adults.
Many parents find benefits in creating play experiences for their children and networking with other parents. Play dates, play groups, sleep overs and similar opportunities provide social practice on a smaller level. Children who are quiet by nature may be more comfortable interacting with a smaller number of peers and find social experiences easier to manage within a familiar setting. Other children may enjoy developing peer relationships outside the school environment where fewer intrusions are likely to occur. Parents also benefit from these social experiences by observing and monitoring the behaviors that occur among the children, especially their own. Parents are able to discuss observed situations with their children and guide them towards appropriate behavioral expectations, conflict resolution strategies and problem-solving techniques.
Outside of social opportunities, what can parents do to cultivate childhood friendships? First and foremost, listen to your children. An open line of communication between parents and children is critical to the development of relationships and other social skills. From an early age, parents should welcome discussion of all types so that children develop the ability to express themselves freely. Promote conversation by taking the time to ask open-ended questions and actively listen to the responses. Avoid quick judgment and criticism; instead talk through the situation providing suggestions that would be socially appropriate. Let your children know that you trust them to make the right choices and you will continue to be there to listen.
Promoting an environment in which children feel safe to
share their feelings is crucial to their social development. A supportive,
loving home allows children to build the confidence to
initiate, create and maintain healthy friendships outside the
home. Supportive parents should guide their children by consistently
incorporating clear boundaries, both within the home and
in the community.
Children who understand the expectations of their parents are more likely to apply this knowledge to their relationships outside the home. Parents who work to create a nurturing home environment are also much better prepared to teach and demonstrate empathy for others. Children who are able to understand a situation from a different perspective are much more likely to develop and maintain strong social relationships.
The ability to create childhood friendships is vital to the school experience and the overall development of the child. Parents play an important role in helping their child cultivate these relationships. The children of today will be the adults of tomorrow, and the ability to develop positive, productive relationships starts now. By getting children involved, creating social moments and maintaining a supportive, loving home environment, parents can help their children build a strong foundation for creating and maintaining healthy relationships, throughout their lifetime.
Send us your comments and feedback: contactus@valleyparent.com.
