|
by Judy M. Fields
I want to teach my kids proper table etiquette. What is age-appropriate for my preschooler and my 2nd-grader?
Moving from the high chair to the table is your signal to begin teaching table etiquette. Taking the following steps will lead to a natural progression and make your job easier.
Step 1
Require your children to stay at the
table while eating. Do not allow them to
leave the table and come back to their
plate. Even if they are only at the table for
10 minutes, the message should be: we sit
at the table while eating. If they leave the
table, remove their plates. I know it is
hard, especially if you have fussy eaters
and you are just thankful when they eat
something. Playing with toys is more fun
than eating. If you allow them to eat a
bite, run play and come back to the table
repeatedly, the battle is lost.
Step 2
When your child moves from the
booster seat to the chair, teach her to sit
on her bottom. Her feet will not reach the
floor, but she will learn to sit up straight.
When your children are older, it will be
natural for them to sit at the table properly.
With this in place, you will be able to
segue naturally into teaching that food
comes to your mouth—not you to the
food. No leaning on the table with one
arm while eating will lead to keeping one
hand in your lap. Introduce, “May I be
excused,” and “I enjoyed the meal,” when
you deem appropriate.
Step 3
Begin with a young child by having
him wipe his mouth with a napkin. The
progression is to put the napkin in his lap
as soon it will stay there. One tip: cloth
napkins stay in place better than paper
ones (and they are greener). Nothing
fancy—polyester ones are available for a
dollar. Give gentle reminders to use the
napkin, not his clothes.
Step 4
Introduce the spoon or fork as soon as
your child’s dexterity permits. Most
young ones find the spoon the easiest to
use while others feel grown-up using the
fork. Do not expect too much in the
beginning. Gradually, she will learn not
to use her fingers. By second grade, your
child should begin holding the utensils
like a pencil instead of a stick. Many parents
are just so thankful the child is using
the fork and spoon, they forget to switch
to the correct position. Cutting meat may
take a little longer.
Step 5
Chew with your mouth closed. Once
your child can chew, he can do so with
his mouth closed. No special skills are
required. Kids love to give the universal
signal for “just a minute” if their mouths
are full.
Be consistent. Modeling the proper
behavior and offering praise when practiced
will lead to children whose social
skills are as natural to them as breathing.
Teach your second-grader to set the table
properly and be the pretend host or hostess.
Mealtime should be fun, not a battleground.
Judy M. Fields, director of Columbus Junior Cotillion, has been teaching manners, etiquette and social dancing to sixth-, seventh- and eighth-graders for 16 years.
Send us your comments and feedback: contactus@valleyparent.com.
