by Kevin J. Weis, Psy.D.
Q: What's the best way to handle the Santa discussion?
A: Santa Claus goes by a variety of names, such as Saint Nicolas, Saint Nick, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, “Mikulas,” which means “Winter Grandfather” in Hungary, or just plain Santa. The American version of Santa Claus originated from a wrong pronunciation of the Dutch word Sinterklaas, which is a contracted version of Sint Nicolas, which translates into English as Saint Nicholas. Not only is Santa Claus a great symbol of Christmas but he has also achieved a great honor. USA Today listed Santa Claus as the fourth most powerful luminary on the 101 most influential people that ever lived.
It is an inevitable moment in most parents’ lives: the kids want to know if there really is a Santa Claus. They’ve heard kids talking at school or maybe they just have doubts they’ve come up with on their own. Whatever the case, it can be hard to field questions. Even though parents anticipate experiencing guilt if the wrong answer is provided, it is something we must be prepared to face. Remember this: we all treasure the magic memories during the years when we waited for Santa to come down the chimney, eat the milk and cookies we left for him and for him to leave us presents.
When we were children, believing in Santa Claus was so simple. He lived at the North Pole with Mrs. Claus, his reindeer and his elves. On Christmas Eve, he flew around the world in a reindeer-driven sleigh delivering toys.
Now you have a toddler of your own. Suddenly the whole idea of Santa Claus seems more complicated. And in the coming years, Santa complications increase as your child is exposed to more influences outside your family.
This guide addresses how to field common questions parents encounter in discussing Santa Claus with children.
The Joint Chiefs Never have Santa Claus conversations unless you’ve discussed it with your spouse. Make a joint decision about what you BOTH will teach your kids, and stick to what you both agree.
Have a plan. Before words even come out of your child’s mouth, have a plan already formulated in your mind. Decide what you want to say. Don’t let other parents tell you the “hows” and “whens” of this conversation. You know your kids better than anyone else, so you’ll know exactly when the time is right.
Pay attention to your child’s questions. Never talk more than your children. We, as adults, are famous for wanting to impart our knowledge to our children. We should all learn to answer the questions asked of us, and no more.
Move at your child’s pace (or at the pace you want them to move). In short, blunt answers are usually not a good idea.
Pay attention to your child’s mood. You’ll know how to formulate your answer when you see how your child is acting. Demanding assertions and continued questioning are signs that the jig is up. Innocent questions, however, are open to interpretation, so go with your gut.
For most parents, promoting Santa Claus creates an allegory for children of spiritual concepts that they are too young to fully grasp. When they are older and can more fully grasp the concepts of caring, warmth, generosity and philanthropy, you can explain to them you used this allegory because it expressed important concepts in an age appropriate way. At this point, they will be able to understand the difference between metaphorical and literal, and you can show them Santa Claus lives in people’s hearts.
Fantasy is a very special part of a child’s world. One of the oldest, most beloved and most universal figures is that of Santa Claus delivering gifts, hand made by elves, to all children on Christmas Eve. His magic flying reindeer pull him across the night’s sky— landing on roof tops, where the generously proportioned man in the red suit scuttles down the chimney to leave treasures for the good girls and boys. Almost nothing rivals this fantastic and wonderful childhood legend—don’t give it up too early! There’s plenty of proof Santa does exist.
Dr. Weis is a licensed psychologist with an expertise in systems theory. He applies his knowledge of systems and experiences in management to organizations and families to maximize their efficiency and effectiveness. He can be contacted at 706. 653.6841, x305.
Send us your comments and feedback: contactus@valleyparent.com.
